Flowers of Gratitude: From Fumbling to Flourishing
Darkness reigns supreme everywhere I look:
up, down, left, right, behind, forward.
What am I supposed to do? Go back? Stay still? Go forward? Go down?
Grief, get me out of your tunnel, a tunnel I never wanted to even look at,
let alone enter and walk through.
Two steps forward, one step backward, one step hammering on the concrete,
I lie down finally.
Tired, hopeless, unsure,
I place my hands on my heart: ‘Help me, beautiful one. I need you. You need me.’
It dances faithfully in my body, as it has all my life.
‘Look deeper into your mind, my dear one.
Search for the soft flowers of gratitude,
flowers that have been growing inside you
since the last time you were grieving,
fertilized and watered by the learnings you had on your last trip through the tunnel of grief.
Pick them up and place them close to me.’
Motivated, I close my eyes and go back in time,
fumbling through memories until I find a flower with a tag:
‘Gratitude for the self-trust I cultivated during my grieving journey.’
I smile and place it close to my heart: ‘Here it is, my love.’
My heart whispers to my mind,
which sings to my body,
which energizes my feet to move forward.
One step. Another. Another.
Three steps away from grief’s beginning. Three steps closer to freedom and relief.
I keep walking, fumbling at times, but keeping up my pace,
my mind and body energized by the soft presence of the flower,
by its warm support flowing from my heart to my mind to my body,
boosting my resilience,
reminding me that I’ve been through tough times before and have come out stronger,
that every time I go through hard times, my experiences plant more flowers,
flowers that I forget about momentarily, but, thanks to my beautiful heart,
I pick them up and keep moving forward.
A tiny flicker of light beckons me ahead: ‘Come, I’m waiting for you with open arms,
full of opportunities for growth, wisdom, and compassion.’
My pace fastens as I get closer, eventually running towards what’s now a sunny field,
as I place my first step out of the tunnel and pause: tears and smiles fill my mind.
I bow down, gratefully, for the learnings I’ve soaked in.
I turn around and smile, excitedly, for the vast field of opportunities that beckon me forward.
